Ha! sorry. I couldn't help it.
Ever since the remake of Dawn of the Dead played in heavy rotation in April/May, I had awful nightmares about zombies. It kept me awake at night. What would happen if there was an outbreak and they broke into our house? How would we fight them? How would we try & escape? Maybe it was a mother instinct, but I was pretty freaked out. And I love horror films. Something about this movie, every time it was on, I had to watch it. It was my own stupid fault. Finally, Mr. Man took control of the remote when it was on (thankfully).
But it's weird, there are just some things I can't watch anymore. I can watch all kinds of freaky, creepy, scary-ass movies (the Grudge, Ringu, Audition, etc.). I even sat through all of The Blob (the 80's version, mullets, shoulder pads, pegged jeans, and all) last month when it was on. But Resident Evil? Saw? Hostel? No thanks, I'm not interested. Can't do it.
It got me thinking, vampires are really just pretty zombies, depending on which movie version. I'll take Underworld/Buffy vampires over the 'Salem's Lot version, thank you. Any monster movie preys on the audience's fear of losing control/thrill of regaining control. What makes us human? What sets us apart from the undead freak that's eating brains, the werewolf, the serial killer? The will to fight? The ability to choose who are the victims, if any? That maybe I really needed to sit down with a few old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and make sure I have my super-long knitting needles with me at all times? What about voudoo zombies, the kind that need a master, a la Serpent and the Rainbow? That helped temporarily. I figured it was best not to get into the psychology/ philosophy of zombies. Especially since they're already dead and don't think, or feel, anything.
On a sidenote: Shaun of the Dead is too funny to scare me. At the end, the army comes in and saves the day. Happy endings, all around! 28 days later has enough of a really faulty lynchpin that it doesn't scare me so much. Rage? C'mon. Well, not that Zombie-ism is really supposed to make sense anyway. The victims are still kind of human, too. Plus, not only does it happen in England, but the film also has Cillian Murphy naked. But that's not quite the dick I'm talking about.
About the height of my zombie-phobia, I got two excellent reading recommendations at a friend's wedding from my table-mates (all well-cultured sci-fi/horror/cult film afcionados):
One was for the Zombie Survival Guide, a part tongue-in-cheek, part Boy Scout manual to living through a zombie invasion. I know, in my conscious brain, that it's a joke. Author Max Brooks is Mel Brooks' son, and Brad Pitt's production company Plan B just bought the rights to a pseudo-sequel; they are all laughing on the way to the bank. My subconscious brain, the one that goes into overdrive at 3 A.M.--because from my bed, I can see my unit's front door (yes, BAD feng shui. we're working on it.)--was oddly comforted.
The other reading recommendation was for Philip K. Dick. (Yes, finally the long winded punchline.) Oh. My. Wow. Blade Runner is in my all time top film list. Philip K. Dick's work is still being looted for really well-done sci-fi/action films. But it's bleak as hell. In the future, humanity is defeated, over and over, by its own undoing, usually creating machinery that perpetuates a vicious cycle of destruction. Or in a post-apocalyptic world, innocence is lost, religion is alien, pointless and/or frightening, reality is a hallucination, and memory is never to be trusted. Those are just a collection of short stories (including Minority Report and We Can Remember it for You Wholesale/Totall Recall). The most hopeful story hinges on the character's ability to rebel. I'm still digesting it, and I haven't even read A Scanner Darkly or Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Don't worry, I'll get to them--after I've read a truckload of picture books, Peter Pan, the Wee Free Men, City of Ember, a couple of historical romance novels, and a few potty training guides.
I don't need zombies to keep me up at night now that I know in the future it won't really matter. We'll be going through the motions, if that. Um, thanks? I think I'll watch Reign of Fire now. Dragons plunging the civilized world into chaos seems more reassuring.
2 comments:
oh my god, i know what you mean. i saw 28 days later and was enthralled. it couldnt happen, but every time i go into my bedroom to turn on the light, i half expect that soldier that they had tied up at the end of the movie to press his face against the window and scream in frustration. i also saw that movie on tv and i think they changed the ending to make it more happy - i need to find out what "really" happens...
The DVD has 2 or 3 alternate endings. It's worth renting or dare I say, buying.
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